A part of boundary setting is finding the joy of missing out, or JOMO.
We have a natural tendency to focus on what we don’t have—or what we perceive as something we’re missing out on. But this way of thinking can create a consistent, pervasive feeling of inadequacy.
A shift in perspective, though, can completely disseminate this feeling.
The antithesis to fear of missing out (FOMO), JOMO alters your perspective. As we learn to embrace boundaries this month, part of the element of boundary-setting is finding the joy that comes with saying no.
JOMO: The Joy of Missing Out
Have you ever wanted to go back for seconds, knowing that you didn’t need them? And, ultimately, you did because FOMO: you felt like you would be missing out on getting as much deliciousness as possible.
But what if you altered that perspective? When you considered getting that second or third round of helpings, what if you thought of all the good things that would come your way, such as steadier blood sugars?
This is an example of JOMO, of finding the joy of missing out.
For those of us managing a chronic condition, utilizing JOMO is an imperative life-skill. More often than not, we will find ourselves surrounded by situations or things that do not serve us. And rather than submitting to FOMO, we should seek to find the joy there is to be gained in any of these situations.
How to Find Joy When Missing Out
The next time you’re put into a position to say no to something, take a moment to think about what you’re actually saying yes to.
First, understand the “no.” Why are you turning something down? Maybe you’re saying no to staying out later with friends because you won’t get enough adequate sleep; perhaps it’s because that donut in the office will make you feel groggy. Whatever the case, determine the why behind your no.
Next, notice the positive impact of your choice. Do you feel more energized or satisfied? Maybe you find your blood sugars stay in-range for the better part of the day. Or perhaps you simply feel proud of yourself and more in control of your decisions.
Finally, acknowledge your gains. By choosing to stay in you're saying no to being with friends, but saying yes to a much-needed calm, quiet, restful night. If you’re trying to lose weight, avoiding the donut will push you forward on your journey.
Learning to see the positive in saying no is key in our own self-management of any chronic condition. Shifting our perception to see the gains can be not only beneficial, but also profound in our health journeys.
Seek to find JOMO so that you can optimize your own boundary-setting and continue to prioritize your health.